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"SPIRE ATTACKS" HOW TO REACT TO THEM AND EMERGE TRIUMPHANT Brought to you by the War Department at Arlington

You've all read the news - a deadly phenomenon has decimated the eastern seaboard and claimed the lives '''of millions. But, what are "Spire Attacks" and how do''' we stop them?

LET'S START WITH THE FACTS:

* To date, all of these assaults have originated from the  '''air. That does not preclude the possibility of sea-vorn spire''' attacks, but we have not seen such scenario arise as of yet.

* The missiles used in these campaigns are massive and precise; DO NOT attempt to counteract their might with '''consumer-grade rifles, pistols or shotguns. Such a course of''' action will surely result in death.

* Spires are manned, if not operated, by gargantuan  '''insect-like organisms called "Spinners." Once a warcraft''' touches down on earth, these creatures emerge and latch onto '''any human host it can encounter. The purpose of these hosts is ''' for gestation; the giant bugs cocoon innocent people and lay  their eggs inside them, just waiting for their spawn to hatch..

Now that we THE FACTS, what can we do to  '''counteract the inevitable? Our options are bleak, but''' they're the only ones we have.

HERE'S WHAT TO DO:

'''* Batten down your dwelling as best you can. There are ''' no guarantees that reinforced shutters and storm doors will prevent the spinners from entering your homes, but they sure can't hurt, now can they?

* If you see anything unusual in the sky, consult the army  '''IMMEDIATELY. By spotting a potential spire attack early, we ''' may be able to minimize the disastrous effects of their immea- surable power.

'''* NEVER GIVE UP HOPE. We cannot allow the over-''' '''whelming circumstances to paralyze us. Our brothers, sisters,''' aunts, uncles, friends and loved-ones may have been slaugh- tered en masse, but their deaths DO NOT have to be in vain.